.  I become emotional thinking about the ‘train wreck’ I was before Fitmania.  I felt so out-of-control, nothing fit in my closet, I was becoming a recluse, not excited to do ANYTHING – sounds like a depressed person?? I was. Right after my 55th birthday a dear friend suggested we start Fitmania…I jumped on it!  In my mind, I felt it was my last ditch effort before there was no turning back on my downward spiral.

Six years ago my 21 year-old daughter passed away suddenly.  That is a life-changing, devastating experience for me and my family.  The reason I mention it is I learned of her passing just as I completed a workout.  I felt like I should have known she had passed, but I was working out and why couldn’t I tell something was wrong, but I am just doing a workout!! I had a terrible time returning to exercise, one, just the devastation of the passing, but two, I was afraid.  Now, I hear her laughing at me as I try some of the awkward moves at bootcamp, I hear her cheer me on…I feel she is proud of me. Fitmania has brought her closer to me.

I had some very negative, self-defeating beliefs to get rid of completely.  I had a strong belief that I would NEVER workout in the morning.  I was not able to do it PERIOD.  And what is a 55 year-old menopausal, hypothyroid, knees hurt, back hurts, and shoulder hurting woman think she can just start a strenuous bootcamp workout??  I can’t do that and why would it matter, I can’t lose weight and build muscle at this age!!  Seriously, these were my beliefs.  Writing this, makes me smile.  Everything I thought about myself was WRONG.  What other self-imposed limiting beliefs could I be carrying around??!!

I absolutely love working out in the mornings.  Best time of the day!  My body feels fit and healthy.  I have more to do, but that will come.  My back, knees and shoulders feel great.  I lost 21 lbs since starting bootcamp, 19.5 lbs since the challenge started and 18.5”, and I gained muscles! That throws my belief I can’t lose weight and gain muscle right out the window.

I love the hard workouts, the sense of accomplishment after each one starts my day off with the belief there isn’t anything I can’t do today since I was able to do that workout!!  I have more energy, focus and drive.  I feel a sense of purpose and control that I didn’t have. Remember, 3 months ago I felt I was spiraling into a deep hole.  This experience has changed/saved a life!  I didn’t  want to just exist…that is what I felt I was doing.

To add to the challenge, I had several personal challenges to deal with that were very significant and any one of them could have derailed me from the workouts, but I didn’t let them.  I handled them better than I would have if I wasn’t doing the bootcamps and continued going to 5 bootcamps a week.  Seriously, it is not about the ‘look how good my body looks because of the workouts’, its all mental, a better, stronger body is the by-product.  I am much stronger mentally!!

Before:

After: