“I actually feel like I am in control of my mind, body and life.”
This last 90 days has been a complete life changer for me. Going into the challenge, my only goal was to lose weight. I was in a serious health crisis. Eleven years ago, my health started a serious decline. After two pregnancies with severe preeclampsia, and losing our second son at four days old I struggled with anxiety & depression. The doctors informed me I was not to carry any more children. I went on to find out I had undifferentiated connective tissue disorder (auto immune), and later celiacs disease. More health complications came, and I lost both of my ovaries in two different health scares. That was another life altering change going straight into menopause at thirty-five.
Struggling with failed hormone replacement therapies and adding another forty pounds to my already overweight & unhealthy body…. my mental state was much worse than my physical state. I really felt like I might be going crazy. I self medicated with Dr. Pepper and fast food. These two bad habits became serious addictions and my new way of coping. I was always tired and felt like survival mode was all I had in me. Sadly, I became my own worst enemy. I would beat myself up emotionally because my pregnancies had delivered one & two pound babies. I had such low self-esteem. I didn’t feel worthy to be a mom. I had horrible and unhealthy thoughts run through my head daily. My marriage was suffering for obvious reasons. I experienced scary thoughts thinking and believing my family would be better off without me. I had an underlying anger and sadness. This went on for years. To top it off, my blood work showed I was pre-diabetic, with high cholesterol. I knew it was time to make some serious changes. The only problem was I didn’t think I was capable of change, certainly not capable of anything with the words boot and camp in it. I felt broken. I’d tried most all of the diets, pills, quick fixes & fads out there. I had failed them all and considered myself to be a quitter.
I live so differently now. I am committed to daily boot camp six days a week. Starting boot camp was way beyond my comfort zone. I had to force myself to attend (not to mention, that I felt like I may stroke out when I first started). I was never motivated to attend. I had to use discipline to get there. As time went on it actually became a habit, the best and most life changing habit I have ever had. And the coolest thing about it is that I created that habit! Discipline is probably the best tool I’ve learned from Fitmania. I actually feel like I am in control of my mind, body and life. Previously, I had felt completely out of control. I am getting stronger. I used to feel lucky to survive the workout. Now, I’m able to challenge myself & do more than I ever could before! I’ll be forty this year, and I honest to goodness feel better than I did in my twenties! I am done with garbage food. I am committed to the lean for life way. I don’t ever want to go back to the way I lived before this Lean for Life challenge.
I have never eaten as clean and healthy as I did this Challenge. I eat my six small meals a day & make sure I am always prepared with healthy food in tow. I’ve become the mom that is providing healthy snacks & foods at the school & parties. My family is eating much better. I’m so grateful to be teaching my children a healthy way of life, rather than the garbage I was constantly exposing them to before. The positive lifestyle changes of healthy eating & regular boot camp attendance have changed my world for the better. My mental health has improved dramatically. I feel like I was in the dark before this Challenge…about 4 weeks into the Challenge, the light flipped on and it feels like the heavens have opened. I am so grateful to be in such a good place. The negative thoughts that ran through my head are gone. The mental struggles I once endured are gone.