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Over the past 1½ years I’ve participated in 4 consecutive Fitmania Challenges.
Even though my overall fitness has improved, I’ve hungered for more. I needed help
in other areas of my life, so joining the Elite division seemed like a perfect fit!
At the beginning of challenge #6 I met with Sherry to go over my list of goals and
action steps. I felt like a kindergartener, excited, confused and eager all at once.
Sherry assured me that I would begin to understand this goal setting process better
as I went along. She was right! It just took most of this Challenge to figure it out.
I had no idea how my life would change when I began in May. I’d just submitted
my DNA to ancestry.com, hoping that I would finally discover my roots. As an
adoptee, I’ve wondered my whole life about my birthfamily. I’d petitioned a search
through the adoption agency 14 years ago, but in the end there was no reunion. I
decided to try again this past April, and it was suggested that I might try DNA testing
on the internet.
I shared this news with Sherry, and though she was supportive of my endeavor,
she was concerned that I’d get sidetracked and end up not accomplishing my goals. I
was concerned too, so I didn’t even put searching for my birthfamily as my goal,
because I didn’t want to fail.
A few weeks later I received my DNA results. By then I’d been working on my
daily/weekly goals, creating new habits and feeling pretty good about my progress.
I’d checked out a book on CD from the library called “The 50 Success Classics” by
Tom Butler-Bowdon. One of my goals was to read/listen to a book on personal
development, and this was a great choice for me, as I listened to it everyday in my
car, to and from work, the gym, shopping, running errands, etc. It filled my brain
with interesting new ideas about how to think, act, and be in life. It kept me inspired
and grounded just as my world was about to change.
Immediately after logging into ancestry.com to see who my next of kin might be,
I found a cousin’s family tree, which led me to discover within a few hours the
identity of my birthmother and maternal family. I felt a place inside me heal that
day. Knowledge is powerful. Part of the mystery of my biological roots was solved
for the moment. I basked in this new discovery, and felt a wholeness inside me I’d
never felt before.
I called the adoption agency the next day to tell them about my DNA results and
newfound knowledge of my birthfamily. The agency felt it would be respectful to
inform my birthmother of my discovery on ancestry.com and my intention for
reunion. (She had denied contact 14 years ago.) It was also suggested that I write a
letter to her that could be read over the phone or sent directly. I wrote the letter,
emailed it to the agency and the next day they called her. I had hoped for a reunion
this time, but she still hadn’t changed her mind.
Looks like I had a lot of waiting ahead of me. I realized then that goals are a good
thing to have while you’re waiting for something else to happen!
So I pulled myself up and got busy, focusing on ways to really take good care of
myself. I made sure to exercise, get enough rest and ate well. I had small but
attainable goals each week to get organized at work and home, utilizing the anxious
energy that was oozing from my pores. I attended the Fit For Life lecture series, as
well as the auxiliary finance classes with Kyle. The last month of the challenge I’ve
been focusing on creating a budget, and getting a better understanding of my
financial plan. (Thank you Ken!)
After my initial discovery on ancestry.com I made another connection a few
weeks later, and was reunited with a paternal cousin. They encouraged me to make
contact. So, I wrote another letter, this time to my birthfather, sent it and waited
about 6 weeks for a reply. Unwilling to wait any longer, I picked up the phone last
week and called him. The response I got was less than welcoming. I was very
disappointed. I’m not going to let that get me down, though. I set out to discover my
roots and make contact. I succeeded, not failed, and stayed true to myself, and my
goals, in the process.
So, it looks like there’s more waiting ahead. I’ll be staying strong in the middle
and signing up for Challenge #7 with a whole new outlook and a new set of goals!
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